What a Hard Thing to Respond too

I am coming here to debrief. My class just watched a film called Enjoy Poverty which is based in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. It was about the fact that Westerners come in and photograph poverty and make money from it, when the people in the photographs make nothing. It was an art piece/documentary film that showed extremely disturbing and upsetting images.

After watching it I don't know what to do. It seams wrong to have just come back to my nice dorm and opened my laptop to watch Parks and Recreation before my next class. My eyes just watched children starving and dead corpses and here I am on a nice laptop, something they will never get to use. So instead of watching my show I just wanted to vent a little bit, I wanted to note that I was effected by it, but that I don't know how to move on. I don't know how to not feel like shit because I will never have to deal with that bad of conditions. In the film the artist says how their poverty makes westerners happy because it makes them realize the stability in their lives, but it just makes me feel terrible and selfish. I don't think everything is okay because I could have it worse, I think everything isn't okay because I should have it worse.

Responding to things like this is super hard for me and I let it really control my emotions for a while, but I have to be careful because what is just my sad response and time to think can easily turn into a bad episode of my depression.

This post is extremely depressing and really has no purpose to anyone but me, but if you read it, thank you for being respectful to my reflection.

I will try to have a post with a better mood soon, but this was just me needing a place to write to help myself understand my own thoughts.

For now, thefloralwitch