Despite being the slightest bit hungover and the largest bit tired, today actually started out really great. I had to get up early, which was a drag, to go meet my aunt who was visiting for breakfast. That was pretty good, but longer than I had planned unfortunately. I had to get back to town because I was planning on meeting two friends, one visiting from out of town and one who I haven't seen since graduation.
These are two amazing girls, I love them both so much and I know they never would mean to hurt me. Our friendship has always been the same, they were best friends before and kind of adopted me into their little group, which is great, the only problem is they can be mean. Not in the secret manipulative way, but more the straight out way that they play off as teasing. Sometimes they are both super nice, but then Lilly will start being mean and eventually Sandra will join in. Lilly and me actually used to hate each other all through elementary and middle school, but now we are really close. They don't mean their teasing in a rude way at all, but with a weak mind like mine, it always gets to me. I would say that these two girls are my best friends, and my roommate, from high school.
Back to the day. We started off with just talking while they ate lunch and that was great! Except that I was a lot later than I was supposed to be because of my breakfast with my aunt. Then we fought(not really) about what to do and eventually decided on bowling(our original plan). We only got one game because Sandra had to work at 4 and it was like 3. Bowling went awesome and we had a lot of fun, I even agreed to every picture they wanted to take(I usually wont let anyone take a pic of me unless I am controlling the camera, I will make a post about this later). After bowling we headed over to Sandra's work, while we waited for her shift we decided that we would all dye my hair after(she got off at 9). So we went to buy the dye and left her to her work. I ended up driving Lilly to her hotel that she was staying in, after doing a lot of unnecessary driving on the way while we were deciding where to go. She had a dinner with her family so I headed back to the farm(where I kind of live).
Where I live is about 15-20 min drive from the town that we met in at first. The second town we went to was about 15-20 mins away from there. And the last town that we got to after going through a couple towns was also like 20-25 mins away or a little more cause of the route we ended up taking. Then to drive back from that town to the farm was about 30-40 mins, maybe more. I had to drive all of this, some alone and some with Lilly, while hungover and super tired.
All and all it was a super fun day despite all the driving and tiredness. I waited at the farm and was really excited, although nervous for the hair part. My hair has never been completely dyed before and we didn't go for just a one color thing, we mixed. This is when they started doing their thing, at first it was okay, but with my anxiety about my hair it finally got to me. At one point they obviously whispered to each other, I think it was because we ran out of dye, but they would not tell me what they said and got mad at me for asking. Things like that really get to me because I can't stand not knowing.
I also am that kind of person who thinks that if I am not there, I am being talked about. So it was really hard for me to deal with that.
Also while writing this, I realize that while I was waiting for them to come over my friend's mom(basically my mom, I live with and stuff) said something really hurtful to me which is probably why I am actually upset. Maybe I should talk about this instead, maybe I will in another post.
Anyways, they both got super tired and annoyed cause it was late and Sandra had to drive Lilly home because it was at my house and I had already driven her a lot that day. Although they stayed until it was done and helped me blow dry it so they could see. They were really excited about the color, it isn't exactly what I wanted, but I think I like it too. Whenever I do something to my hair it takes a while for me to get used to it. After they saw it and said it looked good they left. Thinking about it now I shouldn't really be upset and I think that it was more the hurtful comment from earlier/anxiety/tiredness. I really appreciate them for coming out to the farm and helping me with my hair, I just wish they didn't have to tease me. I will make a post later about being that friend(the third wheel) cause I always am.
I am actually super glad I wrote this out because even though I feel like breaking down right now, I realize it inst because of what my friends did.
I'm sorry that this was a really long dumb story with no real reason or interest, but it really helped me. I will make more posts pertaining to the things I said earlier and they should make more sense, I will also probably make another New Years post because it is something I would like to talk about.
For now, I am sorry to be such a downer, but I hope your new year has started out better than mine.
This quote I found on Tumblr is something I really relate too and it reminds me of what happened tonight. Sorry for the sad things!
“The thing about depression is you think you’re over it, but it’s 3 PM and you’re surrounded by your friends laughing about something stupid and you feel it, you feel the loneliness creeping in. You feel the sadness even though you’re laughing. You’re depressed and you don’t even know how to fix it.”
| — | 3PM depression// (via ugh) -thefloralwitch I think I will call my dad now, it is finally midnight so it is his birthday! |
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